Man, I almost got sick reading all of my old posts. What a drama queen. I guess acting like everyday was the "worst day" or otherwise like the end of the world was some sort of rite of passage into what ever stage of life I'm in now. I almost feel like deleting all of them, because not only are they are sadly embarrassing but also just sooo silly. On the other, hand I could just choose to look back on them and get a good laugh every now and then. Still, I honestly thought I was a lot cooler back then. I'm so disappointed in my high school/teenage self for conforming by trying not to conform. Pffft. For the sake of my ego, I at least hope my friends were just as, if not more, dramatic as I was. But that's probably just me trying to make myself feel better. After all, I'm still told to this day that I make everything to be way more of a big deal than anything should be or is meant to be.

So, I guess if I wrote everything down that's on my mind right now, it might just as easily come out sounding overly dramatic, too. Strange how the only time I feel like writing is when I'm sad/heartbroken/depressed/pathetic (choose your synonym) blah blah blah.

I've cried until I can't cry anymore and that doesn't help. You'd think that since crying is such a natural reaction to being sad that it would actually help things or ease the pain at least a little bit. But it doesn't. You just end up looking really puffy and gross with red eyes and a runny nose and not feeling better about anything.

Boo that.

I just looked at everything that's happened and I can't say I regret it.

I got hurt. But I can't say I didn't deserve it.

Everything happens for a reason, right?

Yeah. It better.

Good to see you.

Oh, and Amanda, I love you. I'm rushing to see you as soon as my life will allow it.

Is it good to be back.

Yes, yes it is.

What a story I have for you. You won't believe it, and you certainly won't understand. But, just know, I have to tell you everything.

And so it is,

I miss the best people I've ever met. I'm coming to you soon. Ya got it?

I'll elaborate later.

I love you, still more than ever.

Today is my last day.

Good grief.

Shower me with sheer delight while I'm away. It will keep me going. I swear.

3 weeks now?

Holy Lord. I'll be gone for a very long time in a few short weeks. I can't wait.

I miss a girl. Too much. I hope to see you soon.

Currently Listening A Trend You Can't Sweat Out By Panic! Heres the Drama School Pop Tarts see related

An old fascination has come back to haunt me. The only thing is, I couldn't be happier now that it's here again.

This summer is crap. Ugh.

I'd lie in bed all day every day if given the opportunity. That's just how bad it is.

Ben Weber, where you at?

And Amanda P., I need you.

Everything drifted like they said it would. I just never expected it to be so soon. Nor this final.

I love you.